for anyone who knows anything about anything to do with my family (or just heartily e-creeps us) they know we do a LOT OF travel. we are flying hither, thither, and yon at least once a month- but more like twice.
I seriously cannot even think about flying without getting cold sweats and an upset stomach. you’d think something that gave me IBS, I’d try to do a little less of. eh, I guess I’m a glutton for punishment.
flying is stressful when its just me, but add some small humans into the mix and shit gets real in a hurry. I end up dragging a backpack, a laptop bag, my purse, and at least one kid all over and garnering looks of pity and comments like “boy, you sure have your hands full!” or “are you aloooonnneee?” Uh duh. for your information, I have been known to put my kids in those little backpacks with the leashes for a tail. They end up getting all may pole twisted up and then I say silly things like “you aren’t a dog, get up off the floor!” ……. and then the follow-up for the sake of the onlookers and no one in particular “uh, I know you are on a leash, but that’s for safety, but you aren’t a dog even if you are on a leash. butyoureonlyonaleasebecauseyouredaddyisdeployedandimjusttryingtotakeyoutodofunstuffsothiswontbeworstyearofyourlife.”
when I finally herd all my cats onto the plane, I just sit there and wait for the door to close and sweat. like buckets. ok, I don’t just sit there I diligently pray that my kids won’t lose their ever loving minds on board. in the probably 50 flights I’ve taken with my kids I’ve only ever had 1 bad one. *knock on wood*. seriously, I need to high five Steve jobs HARD when I get to heaven.
today on board the first flight, we were sitting in row 5. j decided to high five the people sitting on the aisle seats all the way down. I’m thankful that the folks on board were down with giving him some skin. he sat down and shouted “all those awesome people gave me 5!!!!” which made every one happy and I hoped that’d earn me some brownie points. thankfully, I didn’t need them. they did spill some apple juice and some goldfish, but they were soooo good. phew. man, I love these kids.
j did poop on the flight and I had to change him in the bathroom that did not have a changing table. I had to just change him on top of the toilet (fing nasty) with the 3 of us crammed into a room about as big as an ottoman. I couldn’t help but laugh. a lot. and I got shit on my sleeve and I never did figure out where it was, but I could smell it. still can.
the second flight was amazing. the kids fell asleep before takeoff and stayed asleep til we landed. I never get tired of hearing how great they were in the plane. never. I hope they continue to be good forever and always.
my kids are pretty much awesome.
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