I really never thought that I’d be asked by my son, at the ripe old age of 3, to explain death. however, on this very day, he asked me to explain it to him.
I debated on whether i should share my conversation with him here or not. I decided that I would because it’s a moment in his life that not only do I want to remember the day, but I want to remember the words that go along with it. additionally, I’m sure I’m not the only person that has to have this conversation with their kids. I wasn’t prepared for it, but I think I mustered through ok. Maybe by putting it here, it’s a conversation that you can think about having one day and you’ll be better prepared than me. I know that I don’t share the same views as everyone on this subject. I am not putting this here to condemn those to who believe differently than me. I’m just sharing with you the conversation that I had with my darling inquisitive blue eyed boy today. If it has you thinking then that’s a happy side effect.
I should also note that he knows what Heaven is, but I think it was a little out of context for him. he knows that God lives there, but I don’t think he realized that all Gods peeps are up there having a big non-stop house party.
This is how it went:
j: “am I going to die?”
me: “yes. you will die one day when hopefully you are really really old”
j: “will you die?”
me: “yes. mommy will hopefully die before you die.”
j: “but I’ll be sad”
me: “you will be sad, but we will all be together again one day”
j: “where will we go?”
me: “we will go to Heaven. mommy and daddy will go to Heaven first probably when you have kids of your own one day. and then when your kids have kids … maybe even grandkids, you’ll come to Heaven too”
j: “where’s Heaven?”
me: “Heaven is with God. waaaayyy up high above the clouds”
j: “but it’ll be so sad to be there by yourself”
and so I backed up and said “ok, lets talk about it”.
Me: “when mommy and daddy wanted a baby, God was up in Heaven and he said ‘I know who I’ll send to Mommy and Daddy. I’ll send j. he is smart, and funny, and sweet, and cuddly. He’s perfect for them!’ and you were up in Heaven with Him and he sent you here for mommy and daddy. but, we are just borrowing you. you belong to God. God is letting us borrow you. you know like when you let C borrow a toy, but you want it back when she is done? God is letting mommy and daddy borrow you like that. mommy and daddy take care of you on Earth and then we will all be in Heaven together forever when we die”
j: “is Heaven in Gods heart?”
me: “I’m sure that he carries it with him in his heart, but Heaven is a place”
j: “ok. I’ll die and I’ll go to Heaven and be with momma, daddy, and C again”
j: “I came from heaven”
and that was the end of it
I do think he actually understood because he explained it to my mom after his nap.
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