pet peeves

for one. I am so sick and tired of my phone making me look like an ahole. or a hillbilly. or just a straight up idiot who can’t spell. or worst. a perv. this phone and I haven’t been getting along for the last– ohhhh I don’t know— 2ish years. (coincidentally, that’s how long I’ve had this phone). it might have something to do with the number of times I’ve dropped it in the sink. my bad. but
I really don’t think I should be having a DYAC worthy mishap with my phone every single day. and I’ve completely stopped texting/emailing anyone but my closest friends from my phone because that ish gets embarrassing. there are only so many times you can accidentally type penis before people think you are just gross. awwwwkward.

for twosies. it’s JEEZ people. JEEZ. not geez. never mind that Jeez is short for Jesus. if you are going to say it please at least say it correctly. WTH is geez anyway? my best guess is geez is short for geezer. I don’t know why you would say geez? maybe I’m pet peeving over someone who does actually go around saying “geez” because you are really emphatic about old people. but, i doubt it. my estimation is that what you mean is Jeez but what you type is Geez. maybe it’s your making you look like an ahole too. I’m glad I’m not the only one. solidarity sister! (or brother!)

for three. FUStrated. for the love of all that is wonderful and sparkly in the world it’s FRUStrated. there is an R in the word. just like there is an R in that I find people saying FUStrated Really annoying. please use frustrated correctly. every time you say fustrated a unicorn loses it’s horn. do you really want that on your conscience?

for four: mouth noises (especially slurping, but not limited to smacking, gulping, and spitty noises). these makes my skin crawl literally right off my body. and anyone who has been around toddlers knows they’re incapable of not making mouth noises (double negative- I’m so sorry English teachers of the world. that’s probably your pet peeve and I just did it). So, anyway, basically every single meal is like me sitting down and trying to enjoy my food while someone scrapes nails down a chalkboard 20 inches from my face. it’s like dining in Hell’s Kitchen.

what are your pet peeves? please share them so I know I’m not just the crazy train conductor over here.