i am going out of town this weekend to a wedding in Tennessee. as i said in this post, getting used to this new body has been difficult. dressing my new body in clothes that look good and make me feel good has been nearly impossible, but today i set forth on a mission to conquer the short fat legs and the humongous (saggy) knockers. i am pleased to say that i did it. here is how:
first things first, i went in with a good attitude. every time i have ever gone shopping since kids, i have just snatched up stuff in my size-ish, crossed my fingers, saddled up to some crisco, lubed up, and hoped for the best in the great fight with the tight clothes.
today, i was going to have fun. laugh. try LOTS of different things on and see what worked best.
the first store i went into, i brought at least 18 things to the dressing room. and i tried on every single one. some things worked better than others and i walked out with only one shirt that would work. it wasn’t this one:
please tell me one single person who wears a size L/XL that will not be wearing a bra?!?
or maybe bra straps are sexy now?
if ryan gosling says it, it must be true.
i guess that explains why it was on clearance and they had lots of L/XLs left.
after heading out of that store and my trying on all those clothes i discovered a few things:
a. big boobies need to be accompanied by shirts with a defined waists. i am pretty sure that applies to everyone, not just me.
b. saggy bellies do not look nice in high-waisted pants. mom jeans are not a good look. there is a reason why people make fun of them.
c. spanx are a necessary evil. hey, if the kardashians can wear them every single day, why not me?
d. short legs require shorts that are somewhere between look at that girl with dem daisy dukes on and bermuda …and capris are a NO-GO. a hell-no-go to be precise.
store number 2 didn’t have quite as much that met my criteria, but i still tried on a few things that i thought would work and this shirt for a quirky ironic vibe:
i really don’t know why everyone does not own one of these…
i ended up picking up a few shirts that fit my new bod rules and wouldn’t give sigfried and roy ptsd there and a dress at another store. the dress was SUPER cute, but they only had a medium. my child bearing hips really needed a large for comfort but i decided that the spanx i purchased a couple weeks ago would solve the problem and make for a win/win.
i bought the spanx at discount store and didn’t try them on- circa all my previous clothes buying experiences. i decided i’d better try them on for good measure tonight since 3 of my outfits for this weekend require them. and surprise! surprise!
and this is why you don’t buy your spanx at a discount store, folks.
i could just pull my underwear up really high, but that just makes me feel like a ruffles potato chip. ruffles have ridges, y’all. so, it looks like i will be buying some new spanx soon. i’ll drink to that.
all in all, today was a pretty successful day and i think i walked away with a few things that i feel good in and
look good in.
i was thinking back to when i was at the same weight for about 10 years. i always wanted to be 10lbs thinner. i struggled with those 10lbs constantly, just like i am struggling with these 10. i was never happy unless i was at the 10lbs less weight and when i was there it just wasn’t maintainable. i was miserable and hungry and hangry. i decided today that i am going to love me, dress me the best i can at this weight, and just be awesome at this 10lbs heavier than i want to be weight. my goal is to be healthy and happy. i know that the weight will come off eventually and if i do all the right things there is no reason to beat myself up all the time over those last 10.
the moral of the story is that we’ve all been here. it’s tough. but i can tell you from experience that dressing yourself- no matter what size- in clothes that make you feel good makes all the difference. you don’t have to go out and spend a ton of money (confession:
i buy all my jeans from Wal-Mart because they look the best on me and i feel good in them. walmart jeans,
i love you.). go out and treat yourself to something that makes you feel amazing. funny thing about feeling amazing in your clothes is that it actually helps make you motivated to do all that other stuff that makes you feel amazing. eat better. workout more. etc. it’s a happy little cycle that all leads to a better you.
you deserve it.
torch those mom jeans and get into something that makes you feel like you did when you were 22.