sleep training

sleep training is about as unpredictable as Britney Spears from 07.

last night c went down at 730 and didn’t fall asleep until 830 so I rocked her for an hour, moved her to her bed all stealth-like, craned over the bed rails to let her know I was still there until she was asleep enough to slip away.

and then she woke up at 1130 and screamed her pretty little face off non-stop for 4 hours. when she realized she wasn’t getting what she wanted out of me which was “mommy lay down!” on repeat, she started calling for everybody she knows, their momma, and baby Jesus. “i need my daddy!” “I need my gwa-ma!” “I need my ma’am!” I need my upa!” “I need my sur!” ugh. I needed my sanity. and a drink. it’s 5’oclock (am) somewhere!

while she was screaming and nothing I did was improving it, I started googling how to make your kid sleep. I read all sorts of things CIO, lay them back down without talking a million times if that’s what you need to do, rock them, sway with them, etc… etc… etc. none of the methods were very detailed. they just said “here’s the general idea and trust your instincts. the Hell? my only instinct was that I wasn’t going to be getting any effing sleep… why the shit else would I have googled it if my instincts were my wingman right now? assholes.

I trudged through a few more hours and I stayed up with her until she finally went back to sleep and then I headed to bed. I got 2 hours more sleep until she woke up again at 530. I just picked her up and brought her to bed with me. I know that’s like the complete opposite of what I should have done but I was so damn worn out. so sue me.

today at nap, I rocked her to sleep and laid her down and left and she went right to sleep and napped her entire nap alone without waking up or crying.

I really have no idea what’s going on here.

in other news, I was already aggravated when I rolled out of bed this morning since I’d spent 4 hours getting screamed at non-stop in the middle of the night. to make matters worse, c decided to change her own diaper… after she pooped.

I was in the middle of switching a load of laundry when she ran over to me and said “I change my diapa!” as she pushed the laundry room door open. I looked down and saw little poop handprints and just screamed “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!” like I need to be an opera singer because I held that note a long time.

I scooped her up and put her directly into the bathtub. daddy j got cleanup crew in the den where it all went down. he brought in her pajama pants to the bathroom and before he could open his mouth I said yelled “just throw those away!” I got her cleaned off and dressed again and our day went on as usual, but that didn’t do much for my mood. I can tell you that.

I’m rocking c right now. if you’re the praying type please send one up that she will sleep well tonight. if you are a good vibe person, i appreciate those too. 🙂


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