3 days my 3 letter word

I’m gonna go with a conservative estimate of Labor Day being the next time that I’ll be able to leave the house with both kids. Realistically, it’ll be at least 4th of July. no doubt.

How is potty training going, you ask? hmmmm… I seriously considered driving to the house of the lady who wrote the book, dropping off a sack of my kids poop, ringing her doorbell, and running like the wind.

there are a few problems with the above plan. a. you can’t take kids on a road trip who aren’t potty trained after you’ve sworn off diapers for all eternity. b. my kids refuse to drop any deuces. we’re strictly a uno family and so that makes it awfully hard to collect any for a sack.

wholly unsuccessful. it’s supposed to be a 3 day potty train and at the end of the 3 days the only people in this house who are closer to anything are me and daddy j. we are closer to a psych ward.

after cleaning up the bajillionth accident and mumbling some unflattering words (at about 330), we abandoned ship and went with the pull-ups training pants app on the iPad. you set the timer for potty breaks, you do a potty dance, and you go to the potty. if you produce, you get a gold star. the gold stars unlock games. you gotta know your kids currency. iPad games are apparently it. I will be retiring the m & ms directly into my mouf sometime tomorrow.

I’m knocking on about a whole Yellowstone worth of wood, but it seems to be working. after we changed over to the new method, we had no accidents. zero. zilch. nada. I felt happy again after 3 days of horrible.

nothing on this planet can make you feel like a bad parent like potty training can. I think I should send Kate Goslin a bottle of wine. I really have no idea how she did it x 6. she may very well be a whackadoo, but she potty trained 8 kids. that’s something no one can ever take away from her.

anyway, when things got less stressful and more fun, j and c wanted to take some pictures:


sometimes my phone captures things that I wish it could un-see.

in otherish news:
c starts ballet tomorrow. I hope Billy Madison is right that you ain’t cool unless you pee your pants. because it’s our first outing since potty training and I’d really prefer her not making a puddle in the floor.

I guess we will see how it goes. I know she will look adorable in her ballet clothes even if there is a little yellow river running down her tights.

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