I have a love/hate relationship with resolutions. I think it’s a solid call to continually strive to level up. However, as a mom- as a person- there are lots of days in my life when I am standing in the middle of a fire and saying “this is fine” but knowing full well everything has gone to Hell in a handbasket.
I quite honestly don’t even remember what my resolutions were last year. Shoot. I may have even done the word for the year, but I don’t remember that either. TimeHop or whatever Facebook calls it these days might remind me in a little while when I sign on, but it doesn’t really matter. As with most things, words and actions aren’t inextricably linked. You know you know. Wish in one hand and shit in the other…
Ok. So. Just winging it with resolutions isn’t exactly the Psychology Today approved method of goal setting. In the event that you are going all in with the resolutions this year, may I remind you of the 5 golden rules for goal setting? If you’re going in a different direction, feel free to scroll down. Or stop reading all together. Or go to get a cup of coffee, get distracted by something or someone, forget about the coffee, sit down in a few hours for the first time, remember cup of coffee, and come back to this post and then scroll down. Up to you really. I still love you no matter what. That took a weird turn, but there ya go.
Golden Rules for Goal Setting:
- Set Goals that Motivate You: Listen, Linda. If you are setting a goal just because you *think* it should be a goal, YOU AREN’T GONNA ACHIEVE IT. And then you’re gonna feel bad about yourself and that’s not ok with me. There is too much crap in life to be adding stuff you feel half-ass about. What sets your butt on fire? Start there.
- Set SMART Goals: I didn’t just insult you. SMART goals are Specific, Measureable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time Bound. For example: We don’t want “I want to lose weight.” You gotta break that bitch down into specifics. How much do you want to weigh? How are you going to measure your progress? Is 7lbs 8oz really attainable or should you maybe consult a BMI chart, bae? When do you want to accomplish it by? News flash. Just cause it is a resolution does not mean that you ultimate goal has to be accomplished in one year.
- Set Goals in Writing: Write them down. Put sticky notes all over your house. Put in on your calendar. Write it in your journal. Put them on a t-shirt (I can help). Put them where you can see them and be reminded of what you’re doing and WHY you’re doing it.
- Make An Action Plan: You really can’t just fly by the seat of your pants here. HOW are you going to accomplish your goals. Some things you may/want to be able to do them yourserlf. Some things you may need to hire a coach or have an accountability partner. Set mini goals for yourself and REWARD yourself. Do it. Sometimes a little external motivation is all you need.
- Stick with It: One of the entrepenuers that I am ghost wrting for gets me REALLY fired up about this. He has a great saying about “Willpower is a muscle and muscles get tired.” HABITS are what sustain you when your willpower wains. Start this new year off right by setting yourself up with good habits so that you just auto-pilot slay all day.
Alright. That’s how you make resolutions you can stick to. If you’re not doing resolutions, maybe you’re doing a “word.” I have seen some GOOD ones floating around on the interwebs. Some of my favorites are “simplify” “together” “balance” “gratitude.” I love the idea of a word for the year. I think it beautifully sets a tone for the path you want the year to take. If you decide to go the word route, I would definitely make a sign/signs and display them where you can see them as a gentle reminder of your purpose. It’s not quite as measurable, but I think that it still offers an opportunity for you to feel really successful at the end of the year. Life offers enough kicks to the junk. Any opportunity to feel successful is amazing. Here are some examples:
Now. As for me. 2019 brought me some super cool opportunities, but it also brought me some some new challenges. I have goals for my business for sure. I used all the Golden Rules and I can’t wait to accomplish them. However, in my personal life… This year I decided to do intentions. I realize that I may fail spectacularly. But, I am going to try to focus on LESS of the things that are unhealthy for me and my family and MORE of the things that are healthy- physically, emotionally, socially, alllllll of the ally-ies. Here is the chart I am using. And, yes, I am printing it out and putting it everywhere.
I really can’t wait to see what 2020 holds for everyone. Sure, it’s just another year. I feel like a lot of the people I know in my life are feeling more settled and feeling ready to take on new, exciting things. Just know- I am rooting for you.