distancing day 12 thoughts:

1. Welp. I have found the only thing on the Earth that motivates me to do laundry: Being stuck inside my house for 12 days straight with snitches. Omg at the tattling. I finally went upstairs and started sorting/hanging up laundry and told them if they didn’t leave, they had to help. Apparently, snitches do not get stitches at the Drew residence, they get drawers full of citrus lavender scented, soft laundry.

1a. Also of note: at some point I not only washed BUT, also, dried a cutie. Also, I couldn’t piece together just how many because they were in shreds but several? McDonald’s napkins went for a dip. I don’t like to wash napkins on a normal day because it makes a colossal mess. It’s especially disappointing when you realized you sent $700 of toilet paper through the spin cycle.

2. It is so damn windy here today. I’m not a welterweight but if I stood outside for too long, some random family was going to get a drop-in from umbrellaless, patienceless, talentless Mary Poppins. Because of these landlocked gale force winds we got out here, there shall be no outside recess time today. This is not a positive for sanity.

3. The kids are keeping themselves entertained inside though. When I went downstairs to get another bucket of laundry, I noticed Clara, Marian, and Laurel rolling suitcases FULL of shit from one room to the next. I just didn’t make direct eye-contact and escaped upstairs again. If you hear something later on that sounds like a wounded cat in heat, it’s just me making them clean it up. Don’t worry if you haven’t heard much about Jack. He’s still shirtless in front of the television, but he did leave his post long enough to clean his room today. He’s not making a mess or laundry so he’s pretty high up in The Who I Like Hierarchy on this here quarantine day 12.

4. This morning Clara asked me to give her a word so she could do the word of the week like she does in class. I gave her loquacious. She didn’t think it was as funny as I did when she figured out what it meant.

5. It’s only Wednesday (… or at least I think it is?) and I’m already mourning the passing of Spring Break. Next week I have to try to educate elementary school aged people again and I’m certain at least 2, but probably all 3 of them are smarter than me to begin with. You folks out there with high schoolers and junior high kids are the real Corona MVPs. My kids would just have to repeat.

6. This morning very first thing I rubbed aloe all over my sunburn from my aloe plant. I cannot recall another time when I’ve ever had access to fresh aloe. I don’t know if it was something on my hands already or what, but it smelled like I rubbed onion farts all over myself. The consistency was also, well, interesting and it got EVERYWHERE. Onion fart goop was on everything the light touches in the kitchen. Later on Laurel went to grab her cereal and asked me “what’s this gross, stinky stuff on my finger.” Like a good mother, I took a picture first and then removed the onion fart goop.

So that’s where we are at distancing day 12.

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