I hope PetSmart isn’t undercover Al-Qaeda because I gave them alllllla my information today. I was really surprised though when I offered them my graduation picture in support of the 2020 grads and nobody was interested.
1. So… first of all, the girls are either Catwoman, Harley Quinn, and Poison Ivy or they’re Larry, Mo, and Curly- there is no in between. This morning, Clara asked me if she could paint a picture. I ASSumed that I was going to receive a watercolor masterpiece. What Clara brought me was a Happy Little Trees picture and said “I watch a little Bob Ross.” Super cute, right? What I didn’t know is that while she was in there distracting me, Marian and Laurel were NOT doning a smock or any other protective gear and painting like a drunk, angry Van Gogh- but like, if it was an eye and not an ear. There was paint EVERYWHERE. And, no, why would we use the washable watercolor when we could have sneaked and gotten the “washable” paint we used for the stain glass that is indeed NOT washable off of anything but clothing? That was a lot of run-on sentences. I am fully confident I would be using the same amount if I were telling you in person. Exasperation causes me to forget how to use punctuation. I didn’t dole out consequences beyond helping me clean up because Larry, Mo, and Curly were all equally at fault and no one persons sins were more sin-y. It wouldn’t come off no matter what we used to clean it. I just ended up calling maintenance and begging them for touch up paint. I was going to have to repaint that room anyway from the chair painting impatience event, but talk about a Three Stooges forcing mechanism. Damn.
2. Today is Earth Day. You might not know that if you weren’t attempting to Crisis school off-spring or, well, reading this blog. I got my grocery pick up this AM after taking wee Winnie Winter to the vet. WWW was perfect, obviously. Well, minus the tapeworms but that’s common for puppies and she was a garbage puppy so extra common. Anyway, when I got home and started putting away groceries, I realized that Jerry has kept every plastic bag we have ever gotten from Walmart. They do grossly overbag but who needs to keep 84029744 plastic bags?!? Being that it’s Earth day, I was going to go recycle them. It took me 3 trips to take them out, and on the last one, there was a HUGE gust of wind and a King Sooper bag took off like a UFO. You would not believe how high this thing got. Actually, yes you would because I pulled my phone out of my bra and took a picture. Your welcome in advance. I am feeling especially guilty about launching plastic into the atmosphere on Earth Day but it’s Peterson Space Force Base now so surely they’re used to these sort of things.
3. We are a family of loud talkers. I don’t know if it’s organic or if it’s because of there being 4 people all trying to get a word in edgewise. I remember shhhhhshing Jack when he was as little as like 1.5 and telling me dinosaur facts and screaming about everything in general. Clara was never a loud talker because she would (will?) just slap the shit out of Jack if he won’t shut up when she wants to talk. Clara’s life motto is speak softly and carry a big stick, or, um, fist. Fairy Mari has always, always been exuberant and, yeah, loud talking comes with the territory. Laurel got the gene too but not cause she’s overtly happy. She was loud when she screamed in my face her entire baby life. Her baseline conversational volume is that of trying to tell somebody something in the 5th row of a concert. When she gets mad or is trying to talk over a sibling, she’s more scored in double overtime volume. I was just sitting downstairs while the 3 girls were bathing. They were IN THE SAME TUB and I could hear Marian and Laurel as clear as day downstairs, over the TV, over Jack loudly narrating the video game he was playing, over the microwave beeping, and over the washing machine running all at once. My house is a sensory nightmare. I am an only child. The only noise that I ever heard growing up was the odd car going down the street. We have been together at home for almost as long as Jesus fasted in the desert. He came out and started His ministry and changed the world. I’m just googling noise canceling headphones. What have I done?
4. Tonight we flew kites after first dinner. Yes, we are eating like hobbits in quarantine. Tolkien allegedly disliked allegory, but why is elevensies so accurate to the current day and age? Hmm? Back to kite flying. I don’t think we’ve flown a kite since we lived in Monterey. The kites went insanely high tonight. Who knew the same wind that is my nemesis would make for the happiest, most wonderful of evenings out during this quarantine of boredom? Winnie even practiced walking on her leash beside me to the kites and got to meet 2 other dogs very briefly. They were both VERY WELL mannered and it was a really positive socialization experience for her. I thanked both of the owners. I downloaded an app to see what kind of dog Winnie might be and Jack Russel Terrier, Cattle Dog, Rat Terrier, Boston Terrier are the 4 I see the most. Terriers can be real assheads to other dogs and cattle dogs will try to heard them so I’m trying to socialize her well. I did get the genetic testing done today though, so soon we will know just what brand of mutt she is coming in hot with. Ooops, looks like the conversation came back to Winnie. Not sorry. But, here’s a picture of Laurel flying her kite as high as the rope would let her go to make up for it.
5. I really needed to skeedaddle from my house for a while today and wanted to bring Winnie with me to practice leash walking. She has wittle legs right now so I brought a mini hiking backpack for her to walk in. She mostly rode but we took bathroom breaks and she sniffed some. I got some strange looks but I don’t have a doggie carrier and I’m not buying one because soon she will be 30lbs with long legs. We had a good time though and she is learning early on that her mom is insane. That’s a lesson best learned early and reminded often. We were gone a little more than an hour and she hung in there. I didn’t bring poop bags because I forgot but she mercifully didn’t poop while we were out. I must get better at remembering my dog mom things. Here’s a picture of her being adorable just cause I loves her.