1. The list of things I needed to do today was a mile long. The list of things I actually accomplished is basically just 1 thing: I followed my dog around with a tiny Tupperware and attempting to catch her pee. Every time she went I managed to get about a half of a dribble before she realized what I was doing and ran away to urinate in peace. I spent HOURS catching pee and I proudly walked in to the vet with my about 4 drops of piddle. She immediately happy/excited leaked all over the floor and they sucked it up with an empty syringe. I thought ironing wax off the floor was a waste of a day. Long story short: she has a UTI. We’ve got meds for our girl and I hope she’s like a kid and will start feeling better quickly.

2. That is the only thing I did today. I’m not lying. When I got home the kids were all happily playing on the trampoline together, wresting, and double bouncing each other, and idk what else. They’re loud- cause, uh- they’re loud. My mom called to ask how Winnie was feeling and as I was about to hang up one of them screeeeaaammmssss “YOU STUCK YOUR FINGER UP MY BUTTHOLE” to a different one. Thanks, kids. Way to reassure your grandmother that I’m doing a great job out here in the Wild West.