distancing day 62 thoughts:

Imma tell y’all who the MVP of Coronatine is and that’s Face ID. Never not once have I gotten the message “I think that’s you but you’re fat AF, sis” Face ID just keeps unlocking my phone and letting me not input passwords for all my shopping sites despite the fact that I’m aggressively transforming into the Michelin man.

1. Jerry went from having a lot of video calls to pretty much being on a continuous call from sun up to sun down with the same central folks and onsies and twosies added and subtracted here and there. Listen. I’m at like 80-90% reasonable human being when I KNOW he’s on a temporary call. When he’s on an all day long call, these folks get to watch braless lady General Custer at Bull Run behind Jerry’s poor backyard barber haircutted head.

2. I went and got the Lord’s chicken today for lunch. Only one of the CFA Saints was wearing his mask like a doofus. If you gotta wear it cause Moses said so- make sure you at least cover your mouth AND nose. Anyway, I do like how they’re managing germs where the food is concerned. Sadly, think I got myself banned for life for screaming “OH MY HELL” when my card went flying as I reached out the window to swipe it. If you see me on a banned poster, take a picture for me. I always wanted to be (in)famous. The dog might have saved me because everyone thought she was the cutest. She even got a bone just for being there. As for the banning, I can definitely go either way on this. I stopped buying CFA for a long while because where I give my money matters, but I also don’t wanna get COVID and their no contact process is the best I’ve seen.

3. I started reading a book this morning and it’s what I’ve done every chance I’ve gotten and I’m on page 11. Don’t ever ask a mom about her weight or what she’s read lately, ok? I’m out here doing the best I can but no book is getting finished until at least 50% of these people have gone to college and the other 50% are consumed with AP courses, a job, or the 2030 version of TikTok.

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