1. I could not get my life together this morning. I was so tired. I kept falling asleep while sitting up and drinking my coffee. It didn’t improve until around 11 when I forced myself to take a shower even though I just wanted to putz around in my pajamas. Probably nothing bad would have happened if I had worn my Pjs all day but nothing good would have happened either. I managed to motivate myself enough to clean the kitchen, vacuum, and lay down some grass seed in my barren front yard. I decided that was enough productivity for today.
2. The kids got their switch yesterday and I need to know if you can die from listening to your kids talk nonstop about Super Smash Bros characters. If this goes on for much longer, I’m going to the Walmart with the highest COVID count and licking shopping carts. Then again, the kids would probably just call me at the hospital from Alexa nonstop like they do anytime I leave their line of vision to tell me about Kirby and his sweet, sweet battle moves.
3. Jerry got issued his dirty jock strap face mask and he went right on back to work today. It was another seemingly subtle change (he’s always gone to work when we are home in the summers) that I thought wouldn’t impact the family dynamic and was I ever wrong. I think everyone shed a tear or two or two buckets about Daddy being gone to work today. I realized after I told Marian “he’s not gone, gone, gone. He’s just at work. He will be home by 530” that 10 weeks is a LONG time in a 6 year olds life. This last 10 weeks were probably the longest the kids have ever been around Jerry at one time all day like that. It’s hard for me to remember that because I’m a constant in yo face kinda gal and Jerry is more fluid. No wonder everyone was sad. Gold Medal Derp Award Recipient right here. My recovery tactic from the whining and sadness was to take a bath once Jerry got home and was spending quality time with the kids. I emptied 3/4 of a bag of lavender essential oil bath salts into the tub with no plans of leaving until, at the very least, my big toes were ready for Osiris. It didn’t last long before I was found. So, no afterlife for my digits this time, but at least when I went downstairs everyone was feeling whole again. And playing Super Smash Bros because of course they were.
4. I spoke too soon about the moths. Winnie’s 1am potty break was one big heebie jeebie fest. Why the moths decided to dive bomb me instead of staying asleep, I will never know. My sincerest apologies to anyone I woke with my shrieks of disgust. A second round of apologies if you looked out your window and saw me doing something like a spastic whip and nae nae in my underoos as I swat at the moths. Word on the street is the cicadas are coming. Moths are still here. If the frogs show up- y’all gonna have to cash me inside, how bow dah.