distancing day 79 thoughts:

The devil himself is putting in that overtime tu-day. He’s gotta be throwing things at me to see if I’m really committed to this clean eating thing because stress usually makes me a hungry hungry hippo and McDonald’s is my chow of choice. Since I just ate half of a spicy lentil wrap, I would like to invite the Devil to kiss my nondairy ass.

1. Ok. So. The day really started with last night when I took the dog out to go to the bathroom. When I picked her up, she peed allllllll down my shirt, all down my leg, and onto the floor. Um. That’s not normal. It was like she just slap couldn’t hold it. I thought she was acting a little weird yesterday but I didn’t trust my mommy gut. This morning she was excessively cleaning herself and being generally unhappy when we touch her stomach again. I called the vet right at 7 and they have an appointment available at 3. Back she goes to the vet. I also bought unsweetened organic 100% cranberry juice for a grip and I’ll put a few tablespoons in her water for a while at the urging of the behaviorist. I’m going to need a second job and possibly to start selling some portions of my blood or body parts to pay for hers. I meant kidneys, guys. Kidneys.

2. As soon as I got an appointment with the vet, I came inside to read with Marian. Ever the aspiring stage artist, she was in full dramatics mode. The first word she came across that she didn’t know, she flung herself down like my lap was a fainting couch- arm up to the face and the whole theatrics. She knocked over my giant, full mug of coffee and the giant mug of coffee knocked over the open 32oz watermelon juice, and the 32 oz watermelon juice knocked over the lamp and lampshade and it was all a very sticky and messy Rube Goldberg machine to get me to mop. Which is exactly what I did not want to do at 715am when I haven’t had a sip of coffee.

3. All messes were cleaned and we set out on our walk. I took one step out the front door and found that my front right tire was flat. Like flat, Flat, FLAT. I wasn’t driving and didn’t need to drive until Winnie’s appt this afternoon, but I still would rather not have a weeping tire and 4 kids and a dog to deal with. Also, my spare tire is underneath the van and a colossal pain in the ass to get to. I called my bestie and her husband wasn’t too far away and he helped me fill it up temporarily so I could drive it the 2/10ths of a mile to the car repair place on post. I needed 2 new front tires anyway, so the van will be having a sleepover at the car shop until tomorrow. It’s very lucky that I have people who can help me and I have a plethora of teenagers I can call upon last minute to babysit my kids.

4. Speaking of babysitters: while I was at the car shop, he spotted a snake climbing up the fence behind my house and sent a picture to his mom. Y’all. The devil called on the serpents! SERPENTS. Seems to me like he’s getting a little desperate and desperate isn’t a good look on him.

All of that nonsense happened before 12. I am waiting on Jerry to get home so I can take the dog to the vet and he can watch the kids now. I have cleaned the kitchen, vacuumed the floors, changed all the sheets, and done a few loads of laundry. The productivity train rolled on through even if it was a 3-ring circus at my house. Then, again, that’s normal. I really really really really hope today manages to be uneventful for the rest of it.

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