1. Today kicked off at 1211am when the Wee Winnie Winter decided that the 3 cans of food yesterday were not enough and she must eat a 4th can while I stood around in my underwear on the back porch. She is not bothered by squirrels, birds, or rabbits but something SPOOKED her a good one while she was eating. As previously mentioned, it was midnight so I couldn’t see a dang thing and I was in my underwear – so not exactly in my bear wrestling attire. I was just standing there helpless while she barricaded herself under the porch table and chairs and barked her face off while she was shaking. I never did figure out what it was that was bothering her. I eventually got her to come in the house and I closed the back door super fast and locked allllll the locks and wedged a flip flop under the door for good measure in case whatever it was has opposable thumbs and brute strength. I had a terrible time getting settled back down in bed afterwards because our brush with certain death (or a raccoon) had given me a proper case of the Jimjams. I wisely used my middle of the night awake time to order things for grocery pick up from Walmart. I’m not joking when I say I probably ordered 30 things and this morning I only remembered 2 things: avocados and kids’ toothpaste. The rest of my grocery order was a surprise. Not as surprising as the time I ordered French mayonnaise on Amazon, but still pretty exciting.
2. I ordered a new face cream that I am trying as a last ditch effort before I pay a King’s Ransom for R + F or crawl to the dermatologist’s office with platters of Jimmy Johns sandwiches and coke with real sugar to beg for them to squeeze me in. The new face cream has already reduced the redness and flakiness of my eczema but now I have tiny pimples that are painful. I’m at a crossroads here and I don’t really like either path. The new cream says to give it three days. I can deal with #2 pencil tip sized pimples for 3 days but then I’m bringing out the retinol big guns and I’m not even sorry.
3. I fried tortilla chips tonight from tortillas. They were beautiful. I ate too much, but what else is new? 2020 has been wild and food is good. I hope our big surprise in July is elective liposuction in exchange for microchips. Y’all go ahead and microchip me if I get to be skinny.