distancing day 106 thoughts:

1. We unboxed the curriculum today. Yippee Skippee! The big girls actually took an interest in it and they wanted to be the stars of the unboxing videos. (We put them on Facebook in case anyone is interested in what comes in a Moving Beyond the Page 2nd grade or 5th grade curriculum). Mari got to open her HUGE box all by her big girl self and Ms. Bernadette Peters had no interest in sharing not even one tiny bubble in the bubble wrap with her baby sister. I’m glad that was on a Live feed. Clara opened hers and Jack’s box because Jack was ungrounded and had to spend a solid bajillion hours on the Switch today to make up for lost time. It’s like a lot of stuff. We bought a buffet not too long ago for our school supplies but we quickly realized today that we also need a bookcase or two. I got a killer deal on 2 practically new kinda fun looking ones on Facebook marketplace. After standing at the spray paint section in Walmart for a solid half hour, I decided on black chalkboard spray paint for the bookcase that goes in the dining room. I figure it will be cute with all my crazy colors in there AND it will be functional because we can write on the side if we need to solve a problem or write down an idea. Win/win/win.

2. I just need y’all to see my newest ridiculousness reaffirming purchase. Let me give you a moment to take it all in:

If you’re asking “but whhhhyyyy, Meagan.” Well, let me tell you. When I’m half asleep, sometimes I sleep shop. Sometimes I read buzzfeed type list articles. Sometimes those articles combine shopping with reading “25 most ridiculous products ever made.” I would love to tell you that I purchased these when I was half asleep but I did not. I no longer have any flip flops that I don’t mind stepping in dog poop in because my kids grew and they have mom sized feet. Mom’s shoes are more fun! I don’t want to wear my nice flip flops out to take out the dog and I don’t want to be barefoot anymore for a myriad of reasons: poop, goat-heads, and snakes are at the tippy top of the list. I needed some slides and I was already placing a WalMart order. When I ran across these in the search, I remembered them from my late night read and the rest is between me, Walmart, the US Postal Service, and, well, anyone reading this right now. Besides, I have to start at least wearing shoes to the mailbox. I walked down barefoot the day before I ordered these and met new neighbors- like the whole family of them. I felt like the biggest Hillbilly. I realize Walmart slides probably aren’t going to solve the Hillbilly problem but they do make me giggle. If I’m the laughing stock of the neighborhood, at least they’re laughing with me.

3. While we are on the subject of neighbors, I don’t know whether more people should be thankful they don’t live next door or if there should be a line. COVID or the lack of weight lifting or all the empty calories or something has atrophied my brain. The bitch is getting smooth, I tell ya. 2 or 3 times today I just slap could not think of a word. Don’t even get me started on roll call at my house every time I need a kid. Poor Laurel has been Winnie more times than she’s been Laurel since Winnie came home. That one is slightly understandable since she would have been Winnie if we hadn’t realized that Winnie the Drew is cruel and unusual punishment for a child. It’s cool for a dog though. Anyway, tonight when I sent Winnie (the dog, not Laurel) out to pee I prompted her with what I always do “go potty pretty Winnie” but what came out at an unnatural volume was “GO POTTY PRETTY TITTY.” Rhymes better and rolls of the tongue easier but maybe just no. Why am I like this?

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