1. The last two days I have been running on FUMES by the time Jerry gets home from work. Nothing is particularly overwhelming in a day, it’s just like 11 hours of mom, mommy, momma, mom, momma, mommmmyyy, MA!, mom, momma, mommy, mom mom mom MOM, moooooom, mommy, momma, MOM-MUH will wear a person down. Crazy. The only thing I can pinpoint that’s maybe the culprit is that both days I’ve been woken up in a less than pleasant manner. My kids won’t come in my room and directly wake me, but they will reenact the Battle of Valley Forge 3 inches from my bedroom door and give no shits. Yesterday I woke up because Marian let the dog out of her crate in the morning and instead of taking her directly outside, decided she’d better fold the blanket on top. Have you seen my house? Do I look like the kinda person who cares if the dog’s blackout blanket is folded? I’m fine with us just mastering taking our cups to the sink before the milk comes out like jello when we tump them over, mmmmk. Anyway, Winnie and Moscow might be related but they’re like Rob and Kim Kardashian. When they get together, there will be a cat fight. Yesterday morning while Marian was folding the blanket, Winnie saw Moscow and took off after him. Mossy couldn’t get in my bedroom to hide so he went full Full Metal Jacket on Winnie right outside my door. The entire cast of Reno 9-1-1 came clamoring up the stairs to break it up. Mossy ran off and Winnie peed her maybe half? night’s pee on the carpet while the kids shrieked EWWWWW. Not a great way to wake up. Today I woke up in a far less dramatic fashion (but required much more parenting) when a kid screamed at the top of her lungs, possibly using my doorknob as a pretend microphone, “why are you being a jerk? you jerky jerk face!!!” Doesn’t every parent want to wake up to a parenting challenge? What better way to start the day? So yeah, I don’t know if it’s the way the two days started or if it’s just a culmination of it being hot and we’ve been home for 110 days or what, but my tank is on E by 5. I’m thankful for a 4-day weekend so I have some backup even though I’m under no illusion something won’t come up at work and he will have to go in.
2. I used to stay running the roads but, since covid, I haven’t used but one tank of gas in 4 months. I suggested to the kids today that we run over to the school to see the progress of the construction. I voluntarily drove across town to the school just for funsies. Who even am I? I don’t recognize this lady anymore and not just cause of all the quarantine snacks. When we got there, we saw that they framed out the gym and it looks impressive! Some of the windows have boards over them still and it was making me sweat the only 2 months left to finish everything. I hate that they won’t be able to walk in the doors on the first day of school, but I also know we are doing what is best for us. Nobody seemed to have any emotions churned up by seeing the school, but I definitely did. The cherry limeaids probably helped.
3. When I came down this morning, Laurel INSISTED she make my coffee. I watched her make it and tried to politely suggest maybe 3 scoops were cool. She went ahead and did 7 heaping scoops cause baby knows best. I had to smile while drinking my sludge because, bless it, she was so proud. The more I drank, the more it grew on me. I’m proud to announce that my heart didn’t explode. I thought about running a marathon for a second or possibly world domination but decided that a bath and watching the kids ride bikes sounded more my speed.
drewonpaper.com 