1. Tomorrow is our anniversary. Jerry and I both forgot until my mom told the kids on the phone this afternoon. Marian hastily made me a present and I had no idea that’s what she was doing- not even when she asked me how to spell Happy Anniversary! The resulting present was certainly better than I could have ever imagined. I know the 12th anniversary present is silk or linen. I had no idea that the 13th anniversary gift is a banana ring. One might think the banana would be better suited for the 5th anniversary, but one would be wrong. Thank God for Red keeping me well-informed and stylish.
2. Jerry was home for a family day but I ditched those family types and spent the better part of a day running errands. I very very very rarely ever regret a purchase, but often regret not making a purchase. I didn’t purchase a $15 statue of my children marching to the kitchen 5 minutes after I just fed them and it will probably haunt me forever. When I’m old and gray and in a nursing home, I’ll be telling my great-grandkids about that statue and how it was my greatest regret. That’s presuming COVID, the new pig flu, or the old bubonic plague don’t take me out as my punishment for going to Tuesday Morning when I was supposed to be running errands.
3. Winnie has many stuffed animals that we’ve been cycling through to see if any will take. We found one that she likes but it has a squeaker and that lady goes to frigging TOWN on the squeaker at 2am. I decided I was done with the squeaky wake ups and put a stuffed cuddle sloth from the kids’ section in my cart for Winnie. Would you say that a normal, typical stuffed animal is like 8-9inches tall? Not this bitch. Winnie got herself a Winnie sized cuddle sloth. Got a good deal on it though. The best news is that Winnie loves cuddle sloth! Loves! I hope they’ll be the best of friends forevermore assuming the $10 giant cuddle sloth is sturdy and washing machine safe.
4. Part of Jack’s bridging book today was to write a limerick. He was stumped, getting pretty frustrated, and asked for my help. Do you know how many limericks I know? I know 1. And I don’t even know the whole thing- I just know the first line. I started in “There once was a boy from Nantucket…” then I improvised “when he got frustrated…” Jerry cuts me promptly off and shouts from across the table YOU CANT TEACH THEM! THE KIDS HAVE TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL! Then I realized why I know that limerick. This is why I don’t teach 5th grade. Do not fret. Jack wrote a lovely G rated limerick about a flea the size of a pea. The Nantucket bit did get his rhyme flowing though.