1. Today started off like a cheaply made horror film. I was just minding my business in the shower and thought that I had lost a hunk of hair because I still shed like a cat in June in Georgia. NOPE. It was a GIANT spider and all her stupid spider babies. Jesus forgive me for killing Charlotte and all 900 of her kids but it had to be done. I have said it before and I’ll say it again, I am very live and let live with bugs but that’s when it’s mano y mano. When it’s one on 200 and the one is the size of Goliath, well… bye Felicias. Covid has brought about agoraphobia to a degree. I could have quite done without the addition of shower arachnophobia. Shiiiit.
2. I went to the dermatologist today and I’d never been there so I had to use navigation. I think I mentioned before that I made Siri Australian. My navigation isn’t exactly quite right lately and it’ll read like I’m a street over when I’m very clearly not. The huge benefit to Siri being Australian is that I can tell her “look. I know you’re not from around here” when she’s giving me stupid directions and then laugh and laugh at myself.
3. The dermatologist took one look at my face and diagnosed me with erysipelas- which is basically a bacterial infection of my skin. I will be on oral antibiotics for nearly 2 months and an antibiotic cream 2 times a day for about the same time. I’m relieved to know that all the skin care in the world couldn’t have solved it and also right aggravated with myself that I didn’t go to the dermatologist before it was so pronounced. While I was there and had my mask pulled down, she took a flashlight to the old billy goat gruff chin. She has a medicine that should help slow hair growth that I will take with the antibiotics and then after the antibiotics we will upgrade to a cream too. She also ran hormone panels for EVERYTHING which isn’t something that my PCM or OB have done despite me telling them that I have more chin hair than an 18 year old man. I know that beards are in right now, but the circuses are all postponed cause of COVID and I’d have to have a wasted talent.
4. Sleep ordering happened again. I don’t think for one moment that anyone disbelieves my sleep ordering follies, but even I am stunned by the frequency in which they occur. My King Sooper order today (that I finished last night after 2 melatonin gummies) came with not 1, not 2, but 3 bags of croutons. 3. Bags. Of. Croutons. I was only ordering croutons because I finally used up the bag I’ve had for probably 2 years. At this rate, I’ll be using croutons instead of bread crumbs so Jesus can find me in my hiding spot when he comes back. At the very least, Jack and Clara will have to be Hansel and Gretel Halloween 2024 and, forget candy bars, all the trick or treaters are getting croutons in their little pumpkin head buckets.
5. Winnie had another rough night and, frankly, I’m disappointed in cuddle sloth for not diffusing the emotional situation she’s having. Winnie had me up at 11, 1, and 2. I gave up sleep at 2 because she also had Clara up at 2 with all her carrying on and I had to get Clara back to sleep. The first 57 times I let Winnie out she didn’t poop and didn’t even really want to pee. By magical time 58, she had diarrhea again and I was rather glad she wasn’t just being a sleep deprivation dick. It’s the little things.