1. This is gonna be short because I’m upstairs in bed ALONE and watching Married at First Sight Australia and eating popcorn. The kids are all camping out with Jerry, my hero, my love, the sacrificial lamb. I know the kids won’t make it the whole night but I’m gonna live it up in this bed until 10pm or whenever they start trickling in.
2. Clara wanted to text with my mom today and she took the most unflattering picture likely of my life without telling me and texted it to my mom. I don’t know what’s sadder- the fact that my chi chis are tube socks with a tennis ball at the end or that they’d be longer if not for the FUPA/stomach dam keeping them from trying to spill over. If you ever want to feel terrible about yourself and have far you’ve let yourself go down the weight gain rabbit hole, hand your 9 year old your phone and let her take a pic of you. I hope one in the near future, Clara can snap a picture of me sitting down where I don’t look like a clinically depressed Jabba the Hut. I’m working on making small sustainable changes but maybe it’s time to maybe bigger changes so nipples and belly button aren’t at the same line of latitude.
drewonpaper.com 