distancing day 121 thoughts:

1. It’s 726pm. I just took my melatonin gummies so writing this is a race against the clock. If it starts to trail at the end, somebody text me tomorrow to see if I ordered anything strange this time.

2. The fact that I didn’t bust through the wall like the KoolAid man today is a testament to modern medicine and that Jesus loves me, this I know. The camping was the greatest for the kids’ wilderness training and the worsest for their house training. Mercy Lawd. We made it through the day quite happily but there were definitely a few times in there I thought I was gonna crack a tooth from forcing a smile so hard.

3. The bridging books kicked off today in a not great way. Last summer, bridging theatrics elicited a meh. This summer, bridging book refusal elicits a panic attack because OMG WE ARE ON OUR OWN NEXT YEAR. One of my kids will not read for me on a boat, nor with a goat. Not with a fox, not in a box. I think I have a plan for this one but that plan isn’t in motion until tomorrow. I’ll sleep fine tonight. I won’t be worrying at all. Nope. Not one bit. One of the other kids is “I’ll get over it, I just gotta be dramatic first” personified. Come on child! We aren’t gonna know everything right out the gate. I haven’t done fraction division and multiplication since the Clinton administration. We all need some refreshers. This one ran into a problem he/she couldn’t solve straightaway and spent a solid 30 minutes crying and acting like I was shoving bamboo shoots under his/her nails. This was followed directly by 3.3 minutes of watching Sal Kahn solve the same type problem and he/she coasted right on in to mastery before the 11 minute video was over. Guess what, homie? I had to google the difference between simple, compound, and complex sentences too. This process ain’t quick. We are all in this together and your mom’s brain is full of other stuff so getting out those dusty old files in the back is going to take a second. I asked this child straight out “are we just gonna do this like wailing crying thing every day? If we are, I mean… I’d rather not, but it’s ok. I just need to know.” North South. North South. Can you count down to next summer vacation when you’re still currently in summer vacation? Asking for myself.

4. The weather cooled off today and we are looking at thunderstorms rolling through until about Friday. The thunderstorms never stick around here. They just come for a moment and the skitter off to the plains. The kids should be able to play outside tomorrow for more than 12 minutes at a time. Fingers crossed. There were at least 4 wardrobe changes (each) for the girls today because the little ladies could not possibly stay in the same clothes after going a half of a degree to the right of homeostatic equilibrium. Laundry is obviously one of my top proficiencies so this is not a problem at all. The load of clothes that I’ve had in the washer for 4 days agrees wholeheartedly. This is not what Tyga and Nikki Minaj had in mind when they signed on for Hot Girl Summer.


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