distancing day 128 thoughts:

1. For the better part of the morning my kids wanted nothing to do with me and I did all of the things… and I mean ALL THE THINGS. I swear that I have adult onset ADHD (I’m not joking about this) and COVID has taken it from like a 2 to a 25. I get so easily sidetracked. I walked into the kitchen today no less than 6 times to get a glass of water. One of the times I went in, I made a whole damn loaf of bread from scratch and walked slap out without a glass of nothin. I had a nice productive run, but then I had to gather everyone to ride along to pick up groceries at 12. It was at this point that they remembered I existed and desperately needed to make up for all their missed minutes of upmybutt time. There is a daily quota for these things, don’t cha know.

2. My dermatologist office called and I have “an astronomically high” amount of testosterone on the tests she ordered and I’m getting a referral to an endocrinologist. I normally wouldn’t share these things on my blog straight out the gate, but I already told you about the tests and how my vanity drove me into the arms of the most capable dermatologist. Long ago when I was pregnant with Jack my OB told me I was allowed to google but only on WebMD or Mayo Clinic. Those two sites are usually very good about saying “it could be nothing orrrr it could be x, y, z.” Mayo Clinic on this one wasn’t even trying to have any chill. It was straight up like ya sis. Being able to bench press a truck and growing a Fu Manchu isn’t nothing. It’s one of these 3 things. 2 are manageable and common and then there’s thiiiisssss one that would maybe suck ass. That’s 66.6% that it’s kinda sorta ok stuff. Excuse me, did you just say 666? 1. I don’t like that number. 2. I believe you mean 66.7% and I’m kinnnnddda sorta an authority since I’m a homeschool teacher now. K? Thanks, Mayo.

3. Winnie Winter [Lemon] Drew is 5 months old today. She bites less. Sucks less in general (she hasn’t made me cry in at least a week) and is our most goodest girl. She’s impossibly tall with legs like a super model. She can now counter surf, but she is the politest counter surfer you’ve ever met. This morning she snatched an Easy Mac container by the side and gingerly sat it on the floor to feast. She didn’t even try to run with it and hide. Brazen that one is. She also had a cat poupon snack (that’s fancy for she ate cat poop) today and she didn’t growl at me when I dragged her away from her buffet! She must have known it was a special occasion. We love this big goofy doofus who can’t be bothered to spend time with us indoors because she has discovered that she can jump on the old trampoline and it’s a lovely sunbathing spot.

4. I just listened to a podcast about a guy that ran 50 Ironman’s in 50 days in 50 states. I’m gonna be really honest here and say I don’t even want to walk up and down my stairs 50 times a day. This guy is obviously a specimen of badassery. I won’t even get into the logistics of such a undertaking. But, damn, Gina. Why you gotta be out here making us feel bad about our after dinner digestion walk? Also, I need to know how many calories you get a day because if this is like Michael Phelps calorie consumption territory, I need to start training. Besides, I apparently have all this extra naturally occurring testosterone. Let’s throw some things around and run far and then eat 667 pancakes. Who’s with me?


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