distancing day 150 thoughts:

Language warning tonight. I can’t be bothered to care.

1. Colorado and I are going to fight. It was 9 freaking 5 today. There was no breeze and I think the sun itself was having a less miserable day. I like heat but it’s like the middle of August… can we not? Also, my kids didn’t play outside enough today because of this oppressive bullshit and my house was WILD from like 530-7. So. Much. Yelling. It was happy yelling, but so much yelling. And that leads me to my next point…

2. My cortisol tests came back (last test) and I have none. Like none. For someone that is as stressed as I am all the time, you’d think my stress levels would be high. Nope. It’s like you get a certain amount when you’re born (like eggs) and the copious amounts of bullshit and fight-or-flight responses used all of it up. Now I just get the same amount of stressed but my cortisol level just chunks it all in the fuck it bucket and I’m out here flapping with no valid biological response. I don’t even know what that means but it can’t be good. The only real plus I could imagine seeing is that people with low cortisol usually have no appetite and unexplained weight loss. The downside is well everything but particularly exhaustion, hair loss, and dizziness: all of which I have. Goody for me that it’s combined with high DHEA-S so I have hair growth in man places, weight gain, acne, and a deepened voice. Cool. I’m on the path to be a pimply bald woman with a beard who is tired all the time and sounds like Bea Arthur. This is just swell.

3. AF One was doing touch n goes at the runway behind my house today. It’s pretty neat to see. We are mostly nonplussed by aircraft noise since we live 100 feet from a runway but AF One is LOUD. I normally don’t even glance up when I hear a plane coming. AF One sounded like it was going to land on my roof so I ran outside with a panic. It wasn’t close, but it sure sounded like it. I imagine there was no one VIP style on board and that the pilots probably have to practice landing on every runway in the country. I don’t know what that didn’t dawn on me until today. I can’t imagine flying from DC to Colorado Springs just to practice landing 10x just to turn around and go back to DC. Seems boring and a waste of fuel but maybe the pilot is playing a fun game of words with friends or something to keep him busy while the plane autopilots.

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