distancing day 161 thoughts:

New phone edition!

1. Today started out as a bit of a crap sammy, but it rounded out pretty ok. The weekends are usually a little slow for entertainment purposes, but today was full of hilarity with the right pair of glasses.

2. I took all the kids to dog training with me and it was a flaming shit show as one might imagine. Poor Winnie Winter cannot handle the stress of the kids being around and trying to train. She mostly huffed around and cried and avoided having to be with any of the humans in the room. She also peed a monster pee on my behavioralists floor because the kids didn’t make her go before we went in. We accomplished nothing but my behavioralist is a people behavioralists too and she’s got to see us in our full budget circus glory and she’s offering me some advice on trying to work through the kinks that are inevitable with homeschooling. At the end of our session, Clara stepped in the biggest poop I’ve ever seen and traipsed it back into the garbage van. I was already feeling kinda defeated when the behaviorist session ended up like the inside of Pandora’s box, but to top it off with literally shit? Glorious. We laughed all the way home every time we stopped for any length of time we were just gagging. I found myself trying to figure out how to only get home making right turns and with the minimum amount of stops. I had to vigorously scrub Clara’s shoes when we got home and, meanwhile, Marian was trying to sneak the neighborhood cat into her bedroom to live. Have you ever seen those spy comedies where they sneak around on their tiptoes – making all kinds of noise- and in the most conspicuous fashion? That would be Marian trying to get up to her room carrying a 15lb tabby named Smokey.

I told Jerry that I thought maybe Marian had snuck a cat into her room, so we called up “Mariaaaan, is Smokey in your room?” and sure as the sun shines, she backs down the stairs and out of the front door holding the cat like a rag doll. She sat him down outside and then came back in and got several (I think 6?) wet cat foods for him. Smokey ate until he was so full, his fat little belly was dragging the ground as he slunk back down to his actual house. Marian doesn’t even have to try to carry him upstairs next time. She is that cat’s Sugar Mama. I bet all we need to do for Smokey the cat is open the door and he will stroll on in. The Drews motto is like Olive Garden “when you’re here, you’re family” only we actually mean it.

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