distancing day 171 thoughts:

1. Today I learned that the razor thin edge that my sanity is teetering on is the ability for me to go outside and it not be snowing. The local meteorologists are predicting snow flurries soon. This better be some Pinocchio shit. I am not mentally prepared to handle the implications of the first snow on the year that I am homeschooling because there is a highly contagious super virus ruining everything. Bah Humbug. Winter problems deserve grumpy winter phrases. Middle finger emojis too for good measure.

2. We took our very first field trip today to the Colorado State Capitol! We left at 745 so that we would have plenty of time to get coffee and still be there in time for the 10 am tour… at the Capitol… where I checked the website 3 or 4 times for information and Clara checked once… that was CLOSED… indefinitely. Here’s a screen shot from today:

See that? OPEN. But, it’s NOT open. As a matter of a fact, it’s so unopen that the entire building has a giant fence around it and the windows are boarded up like this landlocked bullshit is waiting for a hurricane.

Spoiler alert: there are no hurricanes in Colorado, friends. Fire tornados are a distinct possibility, but Jim Cantore does not bring his rain jacket when he comes to Denver. Trust. We looked so foolish trotting up to the side entrance while 3 separate homeless camps chortled at us and our stupidity. That actually wasn’t even the first time I had been condescended even this morning. Quick story there: Clara’s eyeballs were floating and she asked me to stop at a restroom. The nearest one was a 7/11. We went in and used the potty and, shamefully, didn’t buying anything. The cashier shouted my most hated “you look like you’ve got your hands full” to me. The mask blocked me gritting my teeth. Then, as we were walking out he screams across the store “Thanks for stopping in! We appreciate your business!” and this turd nugget knows full well I just came in to let my kids pee. Normally, I always buy something when I go in a convenience store to let myself pee and I’m alone, but kids are different. I can’t spend $15 every tine my kids need to go to the bathroom. If I buy something for one of them, I have to buy something for 4 of them. Anyway. The Capitol building was closed and we needed a Hail Mary and quick. We ended up at the aquarium and all was saved. We have studied nary a flipping marine anything, but I don’t drive to Denver for funsies. The aquarium was fine as a fill in activity and we did learn some things. I asked everyone for recaps and here are some results: that piranhas can eat a whole cow in 4 minutes. We got to see mermaid purses in various stages of development. And, we learned that lion fish are the most dangerous destructive turds on the market.

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