This whole day is cordially invited to eat my butt.
1. Fir ba ball (which is how Clara used to pronounce first of all), it snowed. It’s September 9th.

2. Next up, I got a bogus parking ticket from the parking lot where I was parked for exactly 12 minutes in Denver next to the closed Capitol building. We paid and I have the receipt for our window where we paid for proof but I researched it on the internet and their F Better Business Bureau rating said that if you pay in cash at that kiosk, they don’t care if you have a ticket- they will still turn you over to collections. I had 2 choices: hire a lawyer over an $80 ticket or just pay the damn thing and never ever make that mistake again. I went with b. I will also throw in a couple “I hope those criminal rat bastards step on a rusty nail” for good measure. Namaste.
3. I bought a used laser printer yesterday as I greatly underestimated the amount of printing that we would be doing in homeschool. I take the Duggar opinion of “buy used, save the difference” on most everything, so used printer didn’t bother me. I went to set up the dang thing today and my computer ate the CD and wouldn’t give it back. I then went to try and download the software on the internet and could only download the scanner driver. So, then, I called Canon and they wouldn’t even let me talk to a person and just said “we no longer support this model.” In sum, I didn’t buy a printer. I bought a dinosaur. And, my laptop is a hungry asshole. I tried just forcing the CD drive open with a butter knife because it already doesn’t work so what do I care? All that did was break off the plastic piece and still not open. I finally attempted popping the CD out of the holder with a butter knife and shaking it loose. That was also a no go at this station. I think we have a USB CD Rom somewhere but my CD is stuck forevermore. Everything today was like lighting money on fire. $80 for the ticket. $75 for the printer that won’t work. Burn baby burn.
4. I am stupid but I’m not *that* stupid as to try and force my kids to do school work when they wanted to be outside playing in the rapidly melting snow. I figured we could do our school work this afternoon. I might not be *that* stupid, but I am stupid enough because I thought that would work. All we managed to get done was math and everyone was screaming through the entire thing because they were exhausted. One out of five stars. Do not recommend. They did make the cutest little snow man outside with their friends while they were playing and they figured out a pulley system to get the snow to them on the trampoline, so I’m gonna call that learning too. Science is everywhere!

5. I couldn’t find anybodies snow boots OR my slippers today. Each child went through at least 789 pairs of socks and they were strewn about the house as if I were Snow White. I am only one person and there are zero animals coming to help me with anything. The. Worst.