distancing day 192 thoughts:

1. I’m sitting on my front porch eating chocolate ice cream because ice cream = good and lots of noise when you’ve got a headache = bad. I should be cleaning my kitchen but that doesn’t sound fun so I’m not. The end.

2. I went to my OB today for my PCOS check since my endo heismaned me over to her. I had to wait months to see her but I love her so much so it’s whatever. She gave me a hormonal birth control because the estrogen in the birth control causes my liver to make some kinda gummy bear that binds to the androgens/testosterone and ushers them out like it’s the 1998 Semisonic hit “Closing Time.” Fare the well, assholes. I have to wait about 3 months for it to work but if it keeps me from having to have a combover by 38- y’all will have to accept me and my rotund lovable bee crushing backside until Christmas. Maybe longer cause you know… Christmas goodies.

3. I’d write longer buuuut I want to take a bath and watch Letterkenny.

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