distancing day 200 thoughts:

You know what day 200 needs? Day 200 needs a flair of obnoxiousness to remind us that 2020 is the worst year in the history of years. This is what happened at my house today:

I concede that was barely a third ass attempt- much less a half ass attempt- at covering up the identity of the person who wrapped their hair around a comb until they nearly scalped themselves. The person who did that is definitely not the same person who has First Communion in 12 days and they were definitely not screaming “MY FIRST COMMUNION IS RUINED! MY LIFE IS RUINED!” over and over again while I poured conditioner and olive oil all over her head. I tried to cut the tines of the comb unsuccessfully. I was able to push them really hard until they snapped off though. I only have about 34 micro cuts on my thumb that burned when the olive oil got on them from breaking off the tines. We managed to free her from the comb but now my bathtub and the Gulf of Mexico after BP messed everything up look a lot alike. Will someone die trying to get into that bathtub in the future? Maybe. Will that someone be me? Likely.

On the plus side: Clara asked about the origins of olive oil and why it’s good for your skin so BONUS school to-day. These kids are gonna have some eclectic ass book learnin’ by the time this year is over. Another plus is she smells like Olive Garden.

I really just want chips and queso and salsa for dinner but we can’t have anything delivered on base and I am not interested in going to get it. Why does COVID gotta do me like this?


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