distancing day 285 thoughts:

What a beautiful, relaxing day.

It took Jerry and me 10 years, but we finally figured out how to not have a huge mess of stressful crap to do at midnight. Bravo to us.

It’s only 10 and not 11 because the first Christmas Jack was alive he was in the NICU. We went to Village Inn and ate sad Christmas dinner while I sobbed into my mashed potatoes and my boobs leaked all over my bra, down my shirt and stomach, and onto the table. Oversupply is a thing and Christmas gave me the big sad. Maybe that’s why I’m all bahumbug about Christmas now partially too. My first Christmas as a mom was the saddest. He was in a coma for 2 days after he was born and when he woke up he was still kinda coma-y for a few days. There were no actual Drs around (cause Christmas) and the head nurse told us that he was in a coma. That’s it. I didn’t know if he would ever wake up. We later found out that it was because they had induced a coma with phenobarbital because they had used a vacuum unsuccessfully twice. They finally got him out but it was UGLY. Heyyyooo. Don’t mind me while I barf out my Jack birth trauma on you on Christmas Eve. Even now, 11 years later- I cry every single Christmas. It’s just what I do.

Today was 180 from the first Christmas. Year 11 was pretty great. We started the day getting donuts and coffee. We cleaned a little. We wrapped a present or two. We prepped and had an early cheese plate feast. That’s a Jerry tradition that I happily accepted as my own and ours. I love cheese plate on Christmas Eve. We normally prep everything and eat after Church at like 7. It typically makes for a sorta hairy night getting children to bed. Since we ate at 2 or so, we played games for a few hours and finished the Victorian Farm Christmas special. It doesn’t exactly feel like Christmas, but in this situation, I’m not sure it’s a bad thing.

My parents brought lots of games to keep the kids entertained today. They played a game called taco or burrito, I think? while we got the food ready. I didn’t hear much but I did hear things like “health inspector” and “chunky milk” ewwww. My mom also wraps a Saran wrap ball with little surprises for the kids and lets them unwrap it. This year, since they’re older, we made them wear oven mitts. It was everything you think it would be and more. So funny. Lastly, there were blow up deer antlers and blow up rings to try and hook onto the antlers. I honestly think that was the kids’ favorite. They didn’t even want to throw the rings. They just wanted us to while they ducked and dived and giggled from them. The best.

I’m going to have to take some melatonin and head off to sleep pretty quickly so it can be morning! I LOVE watching people open presents. It’s my love language for sure. Merry Christmas to all and to all a goodnight!


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