distancing day 319 thoughts:

I stayed up too late last night and even though it’s only 718 right now, you betcha bottom dollar imma do it again.

Last night I watched my first ever episode of “My 600lb Life. ” My side quest from here on out is finding out how one hires Dr. Now to hide inside your refrigerator and berate you every time you open it when you aren’t actually hungry. Is this a thing? Is there a voice recording that can be triggered by the door of the refrigerator opening like one of those singing birthday cards? It is 2021 for Doc Brown’s sake. I don’t have a flying car or a robot named Rosie. At the very least we can surely figure out how to rig a condescending Iranian-American voice box to insult me when I want to eat cheese just because it’s an activity and feeling full is a way to feel something.

As for my day today: Well, I cleaned our bedroom. I found in a pile of things that needed to be dealt with the clothes I bought IN OCTOBER to make a costume to go with Jack’s. He ended up putting the kibosh on my egg to his chicken costume, so I tossed my supplies aside for 4 months and went as a stay at home mom of what feels like 382 children – that is sick and tired of this pandemic (and that was 4 months ago so ask me how I’m feeling now). Anyway, I got everything dealt with in our bedroom and put the suitcases away from our trip. I won’t know how to act not having a perma broken toe from kicking the suitcase wheel every time I get up to pee in the night. I’m really out here on a Treat Yo Self vibe this week with a clean bedroom and clean sheets. Now maybe if I could clean up that diet a bit I wouldn’t have to figure out how to squeeze a Persian surgeon into my already too small fridge.

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